The word for this year was supposed to be "growth". The frustrating truth is that it should have been "action", just like last year. As much as I accomplished last year, I was nowhere near being in a place where I could step back and focus on growth the way I wanted to. Much more action had to be taken. I found an internship which I turned into a job. I bought a car which I am paying off. Now, I need to buy furniture and find my own apartment.
I'm not denying the amount of growth that happens when you take major steps like these, particularly when you were afraid of these kinds of steps not so long ago. However, the growth I was more interested in doing this year was healing. I wanted to start learning to forgive and trust again.
But growth is growth so I've decided to go another route. I haven't been writing much. I've been completely stuck, which is part of the reason some of that growth I was looking for hasn't happened. Writing is how I navigate. It's my candle in my darkness. Lighting that candle again is where I need to focus. In order to unblock, I've decided to complete, The Artist's Way. For years, I've heard great things about this book and how it helps unblock creativity. Plus, I tried doing "Morning Pages" a few years ago. You can find that attempt here, here, and here. I couldn't handle it then. It stirred up so much stuff that I did not want stirred up. Even then, I could tell that I was running. Unfortunately, healing often hurts more than receiving the wound did. I'm still very resistant to the process but now that I can understand why I'm resistant and the power that this process has, maybe I can push through this time around.
I've also signed up for two poetry classes. One is the class I took last year, ModPo. It's been four weeks and it's been so great to see that I have progressed since the first time. I have a deeper understanding of many of the poems we've looked at so far. The other class is a new one for me and started last week. This one is supposed to be pretty intensive. We'll see how it goes.
Action will continue in full force. It must. I do have to take care of my creative soul as well. I've been neglecting her for too long.