Dew drops in morn
A flower's temporary gem
Dew drops in morn
With dew the petals will adorn
So light will sparkle off of them
Creating their own sweet poem
Dew drops in morn
This poetry form is called a Rondelet. I saw this form over at everyday amazing. You can find out more about this poetry form at D'verse~ Poet's Pub. I wanted to try it, you know I love trying new poetry forms. Anything to get me writing.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
I Want My Femininity Back
If you read this blog then you know that I am on a quest, sort of speak, to reclaim the parts of me that were either suppressed or tossed aside. Because of years of emotional abuse among other kinds of abuse, I basically became an empty shell surrounded by a fortress in order to cope. One day I realized that it was no longer keeping me safe, that it had actually buried me alive. So, I went to work tearing down the fortress walls. I am no where near finished with that project but I want to focus more on the empty shell for the moment.
Now that I've been writing again after over a decade of only writing school essays, it has cleared some of the pain and clutter away. I can see much more clearly now and can better assess everything from the deep to the seemingly superficial. Nothing is really superficial when it comes to who you are and how you present it to the world, but I do think some things are more important than others. I've started looking at who I was before the downward spiral began as kind of a guideline, my 6 year old self.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about femininity. My 6 year old self was very feminine. She was graceful (for a 6 year old), girly, creative, almost always wore dresses, loved looking pretty, and most importantly she reveled in being a girl. I never really stopped being girly but I did stop reveling in being a woman. Don't be confused, I never wanted to be a man. I just haven't enjoyed being a woman the way that I would like to.
So, now what? How does one go about regaining her femininity? I'm still working on a complete answer. However, what really stands out for me at the moment as a huge difference between me now and me at age 6 is my body. I was a gymnast as a child. My body was strong and flexible. I was so proud of the things my body was capable of doing. Now, not so much. So, part of the answer would be to work on getting that back. I think the biggest part of femininity and reveling in being a woman is loving your body and what it can do.
Time to start to seriously workout and stretch. I'm starting with a short work out 3 days a week and I have a stretch routine to do after the workout. I'm looking for a stretch routine that I can do on the days that I don't work out. I'm trying to build the habit first, then I will work on improving it.
It's a start.
Now that I've been writing again after over a decade of only writing school essays, it has cleared some of the pain and clutter away. I can see much more clearly now and can better assess everything from the deep to the seemingly superficial. Nothing is really superficial when it comes to who you are and how you present it to the world, but I do think some things are more important than others. I've started looking at who I was before the downward spiral began as kind of a guideline, my 6 year old self.
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about femininity. My 6 year old self was very feminine. She was graceful (for a 6 year old), girly, creative, almost always wore dresses, loved looking pretty, and most importantly she reveled in being a girl. I never really stopped being girly but I did stop reveling in being a woman. Don't be confused, I never wanted to be a man. I just haven't enjoyed being a woman the way that I would like to.
So, now what? How does one go about regaining her femininity? I'm still working on a complete answer. However, what really stands out for me at the moment as a huge difference between me now and me at age 6 is my body. I was a gymnast as a child. My body was strong and flexible. I was so proud of the things my body was capable of doing. Now, not so much. So, part of the answer would be to work on getting that back. I think the biggest part of femininity and reveling in being a woman is loving your body and what it can do.
Time to start to seriously workout and stretch. I'm starting with a short work out 3 days a week and I have a stretch routine to do after the workout. I'm looking for a stretch routine that I can do on the days that I don't work out. I'm trying to build the habit first, then I will work on improving it.
It's a start.
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Nyctophilia
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Quote: L.M. Montgomery
Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.
-L.M. Montgomery
I hope this is true. I haven't met too many kindred spirits in my life.
-L.M. Montgomery
I hope this is true. I haven't met too many kindred spirits in my life.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Hoping That I'll Be Writing Again Soon
I'm rather disturbed by the lack of writing I've been doing lately. I'm hoping that it is just because my poetry class, lovingly referred to as ModPo, has been taking up my time and creative energy. The class is sadly over for the moment so I should be needing another outlet. If I don't start writing more then I will know that something is seriously wrong and I need to figure it out. I've been having trouble writing ever since I moved here and it really has me wondering what is going on. I get really scatter-brained and unmotivated when I don't write for a period of time.
But like I said, hopefully it's just that I have been directing my creative energy into the poetry class. By the way, I highly recommend that class. They won't have it again until next year but I would suggest that everyone who wants to explore art and open their mind more take the class. It has a transformative quality to it that I did not expect at all. They haven't announced the next class but if you create an account on Coursera, you can put the class on your watchlist here. You will also have access to all the other classes on the site that you can take, free of charge. I've recently realized that I am a believer in life-long learning, so this is an excellent resource. I will definitely be taking the class again next year and most likely other classes along the way.
But like I said, hopefully it's just that I have been directing my creative energy into the poetry class. By the way, I highly recommend that class. They won't have it again until next year but I would suggest that everyone who wants to explore art and open their mind more take the class. It has a transformative quality to it that I did not expect at all. They haven't announced the next class but if you create an account on Coursera, you can put the class on your watchlist here. You will also have access to all the other classes on the site that you can take, free of charge. I've recently realized that I am a believer in life-long learning, so this is an excellent resource. I will definitely be taking the class again next year and most likely other classes along the way.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Finally Moving Along
I haven't been writing nearly as much as I should. It always seems like the times I need writing the most are the times that I write the least. Not sure what kind of sense that makes.
Things haven't changed too much for me since the last time I wrote but the few changes there are, are pretty significant. First, I am taking a class to become a tax preparer. If I pass the class, come January I will have a job for a few months. Having something current on my resume will be so helpful. I really got pushed into this and was incredibly annoyed about it. I hate when I let myself get pushed into something I don't want to do. It almost always ends badly. However, I don't really have other options. Around here, they say that you can apply somewhere and not hear back for 6 to 8 months. I really can't be sitting around waiting for that. So, the tax class it is. If nothing else, it can go in my education section.
Second, it turns out that someone I knew my freshman year of college lives around here too. We have talked a few times. He keeps saying that he will take me out and show me around, but I'm not holding my breath for that. It's just nice to know that there is someone around that I know.
Third, I may have made a friend. You don't realize how a big a deal that is until you don't have any friends. I say may because I met him online and haven't met in person yet. I told him that I was only interested in friendship but we all know that sometimes guys ignore you when you say that. He seems genuine though so only time will tell. In the meantime, I'm enjoying getting to know someone.
So, something is finally happening that isn't horrible. That's a nice feeling.
Oh, and the leaves finally changed colors! It's not quite as beautiful and vibrant as it was back in Washington but still beautiful. I was starting to feel like I was going to miss out on the best part of fall. Now, I just have to get used to fall coming a bit later.
Things haven't changed too much for me since the last time I wrote but the few changes there are, are pretty significant. First, I am taking a class to become a tax preparer. If I pass the class, come January I will have a job for a few months. Having something current on my resume will be so helpful. I really got pushed into this and was incredibly annoyed about it. I hate when I let myself get pushed into something I don't want to do. It almost always ends badly. However, I don't really have other options. Around here, they say that you can apply somewhere and not hear back for 6 to 8 months. I really can't be sitting around waiting for that. So, the tax class it is. If nothing else, it can go in my education section.
Second, it turns out that someone I knew my freshman year of college lives around here too. We have talked a few times. He keeps saying that he will take me out and show me around, but I'm not holding my breath for that. It's just nice to know that there is someone around that I know.
Third, I may have made a friend. You don't realize how a big a deal that is until you don't have any friends. I say may because I met him online and haven't met in person yet. I told him that I was only interested in friendship but we all know that sometimes guys ignore you when you say that. He seems genuine though so only time will tell. In the meantime, I'm enjoying getting to know someone.
So, something is finally happening that isn't horrible. That's a nice feeling.
Oh, and the leaves finally changed colors! It's not quite as beautiful and vibrant as it was back in Washington but still beautiful. I was starting to feel like I was going to miss out on the best part of fall. Now, I just have to get used to fall coming a bit later.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Six Word Saturday
grateful for all the sunlight here
It's no secret that I have gotten a rough start here. I have been regretting my decision and futilely rethinking it. However, I do look forward to the regular sunshine I see. I checked the weather back in Washington and it has been rainy, cloudy, and in the 40s and 50s every day. Here it has been sunny most days and in the 60s and 70s. So, things are not all bad here. I consider having more sunlight in my life to be a huge blessing.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Quote: Sarah Addison Allen
"We're connected, as women. It's like a spiderweb. If one part of that web vibrates, if there's trouble, we all know it, but most of the time we're just too scared, or selfish, or insecure to help. But if we don't help each other, who will?"
-Sarah Addison Allen
-Sarah Addison Allen
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