Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Trying To End A Cycle

I am really struggling in the area of career right now. I am still unemployed and have very little in the way of prospects. I am also just very tired. I have always struggled in this area. Whenever I find myself unemployed, it lasts for months and even years. Then when I finally do find a job, it turns out to be a dead end and I end up being mistreated. I get used and abused, then let go for some bullshit reason. This has been my cycle since the beginning and I cannot seem to get out of it. Something has to change but I cannot figure out what or how.

Jobs are not one of those things that you can really just wait for the right one to come along. You need to be making money. You have bills to pay. You need to eat. There isn't a way around that unless you have someone willing to take care of you. I consistently find myself in a position where I am completely broke and only have one option for work. Then the job quickly turns out to be terrible and completely drains me so that I am unable to work towards something else. Then I get angry at myself for being so exhausted and scatterbrained. That's when the depression rears its ugly head and the downward spiral begins.

Something has to be different this time or I will end up back in the same cycle.

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