The Sunday Whirl- Wordle 71

I'm sitting here with a pencil in my hand
Staring at the empty paper in front of me
I can think of nothing to write about
There isn't the slightest trace of inspiration
Yet I feel chained to this chair and this desk
I can almost feel each link digging into my skin
Obviously there is something I want to say
Outside dusk is approaching, the sky a dusty rose
Finally my hand is moving, without my really thinking
As if its being guided by some other operator
Somewhere deep inside, I must have the essentials
The golden recipe that will give me success
I just have to climb the fence that guards it

Inspired by The Sunday Whirl- Wordle 71. Any ideas how I could've used the word forgiven?


This work by Porcelain Lotus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/2012/08/26/wordle-71/.

Quote: Anais Nin

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”

 -Anais Nin

Quote: Zooey Deschanel

I just joined Writerscafe.org. If you are a member too, then come find me at http://www.writerscafe.org/porcelainlotus. I'd love to have some Writerscafe friends!

Heart Of A Mermaid

Walking along the beach
The sand rubbing against my toes
Staring out at the sea
Listening to the waves crash
Their crests glistening in the moonlight
Oh, how I long to become part of it
To become one with the sea

Caressing the beaches
Playing among the rocks
Dancing with the fish
Taunting the sharks
Beckoning ships off the shore
Calling sailors to my adventure
From which only the strongest survive

I dream of being a part of the sea
Beautiful and full of wonder
Curious and mischievous
I yearn to explore the ocean's depths
To feel its waves soothing my soul
To follow the path of a mermaid
Embracing the heart within me


Heart of a Mermaid by Porcelain Lotus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

The Sunday Whirl- Wordle 70

He's turned out to be an insidious man
I can feel his cunning all through my limbs
Coursing through my veins in waves of chills
His words in my ear sound tinny and cold
As if spoken by a man with no soul
And yet I found myself confused and split
He used to be so sweet and gentle
Those cherished memories flow so vivid through my thoughts
When he's near my mind drifts between the past and present
Thinking about all that preluded where we are now
Why couldn't I see his plan and how did I miss his darkness?
I suppose my eyes were tinted with that lovely rosy shade
Hopefully I awoke at the nick of time
Perhaps there is time to fix all the damage done

I'm not exactly sure where this came from or who its about but it was inspired by The Sunday Whirl- Wordle 70. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to use the word tip.


This work by Porcelain Lotus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://sundaywhirl.wordpress.com/2012/08/19/wordle-70-a-bakers-dozen/.

Looking For Sex And Relationship Blogs

I really hate to talk about this but maybe its time. What's the point of having an anonymous blog if I can't get everything off my chest? I have been abused in many ways over the years and been in more than one abusive relationship. Mostly its been emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is so incredibly damaging, worse that physical or sexual abuse. It took me quite awhile but I feel like I've been able to regain quite a lot of what was taken from me. I still have quite a long way to go but I'm getting there. I'm regaining my sense of self and my self worth. I've learned how to trust my instincts again. I've also learned how to identify red flags in people and how to get them out of my life before they harm me. All in all, I'd say quite a bit of progress!

I didn't start making progress until I was able to say out loud what was done to me. Living in denial never works. You have to face your demons. I've been able to address the emotional, mental, verbal, and spiritual abuse. I can talk to some people about it. However, I've only been able to partially talk about the sexual abuse. Now don't worry, I'm not going to go into details on this blog. You don't need to talk to everyone about such things. So now I'm ready to address it all. Somehow, I have to get all the pieces of me back together, including my sexuality. I was looking for blogs about sex and relationships. I thought maybe hearing from people in healthy relationships would help me see sex differently. Help me see it as the beautiful expression of intimacy that it should be. Or that I want it to be. However, I mostly found blogs written by therapists. So far I can only find two that are written by regular people. One hardly ever blogs anymore and one is written by a man who sometimes comes off like he's still in high school. Neither is helpful. All the other blogs I've found are about BDSM and TTWD relationships. Not helpful either, although I do wonder what they would say about my situation and how many of them were in my position at one point. Don't "vanilla" people need to talk about their relationships too?

I'll keep looking though. I'm completely convinced that an example of a typical but healthy relationship will help me a lot. Don't worry, there are other things I'm doing to overcome all of this. I just don't feel the need to write about it here. So, anyone know of any great sex and relationships blogs?

Quote: David Deida

"Men are terrified of a woman’s depth of love and the energy that moves as a woman’s sexuality and emotions. And, at the same time, men want nothing more in this life than to merge completely with a woman’s devotional love and wild energy. Only as a man outgrows his fear can he handle a woman’s tremendous love-energy without running. And only such a man is worthy of your devotional offering in a committed intimacy."

-David Deida

Quote: Cherokee Proverb

A woman’s highest calling is to lead a man to his soul, so as to unite him with Source; her lowest calling is to seduce, separating man from soul and leave him aimlessly wandering. A man’s highest calling is to protect woman, so she is free to walk the earth unharmed. Man’s lowest calling is to ambush and force his way into the life of a woman.

-Cherokee Proverb

Three Word Wednesday- CCLXXXIV

Standing, frozen in my tracks
Watching my world crumble around me
Everything I thought
Everything I believed
Everything I built myself up to be
Is disappearing before my eyes
I feel the pain of loss
The mourning for who I once was
But strangely, I do not feel uneasy
I feel a twinge of excitement
Anticipation for what is yet to come
All I can do now is sit and wait
Wait while my mind sorts it out
Wait until my soul settles
Then I will feel that familiar warmth
Of my heart being pulled
In the direction of my desires
Then my feet will move
To where my heart is drawn

This was inspired by this weeks prompt at Three Word Wednesday. The words were crumble, drawn, and uneasy.


This work by Porcelain Lotus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://www.threewordwednesday.com/2012/08/3ww-cclxxxiv.html.