So, the new year is almost here but I feel no excitement. All I feel is apprehension. Looking back on the past couple of years I see that my position in life hasn't changed much despite how drastically I have changed. I fear that this next year will yield just as little improvement. I feel like my life is passing me by and I can't catch up because I don't even know what my life is supposed to be.
I know what I want but I don't have any confidence to go after it. My creative self is still so fragile, I'm afraid that the slightest rejection could break it. Perhaps I'm being overprotective of it, but I am very afraid of losing it again.
That's the problem though isn't it. I can never move forward as long as I'm afraid. I guess that's the next hurdle I have to get over. I have to either stop being afraid or figure out how to face my fears.