Thursday, February 28, 2013

NaBloPoMo March 2013

Surprisingly, I signed up for NaBloPoMo for the month of March. I've never posted everyday for a month and I'm a bit concerned that even with the prompts I won't be able to do it. I hate forcing myself to write. It reminds me of high school and the reason I lost my love for writing in the first place.

I decided to try because I've been so stuck lately. This month's theme is risk. Perhaps I should take this small risk and perhaps reap some rewards. I'm hoping that this experience can shake something loose. Maybe I can unblock whatever is blocked. We'll see what happens I guess. It starts tomorrow so hopefully I can succeed at completing this and maybe get something out of it.

You can see all the people who signed up here.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Angry and Stuck

I want to write poems about the anger I feel that I wrote about here. Writing poetry (if that's what it should be called) helps me to deal with whatever I'm feeling but I can't write a single thing. It's taking over all of me and I can't release it. Journalling here helps for a little while but it comes back. How can I get out of this when I can't do the one thing that helps? It's taking me days to find the words just for this post.

I know that I'm stuck. I will never get anywhere in life until I figure out how to deal with the anger I feel. The more I think about the past, the angrier I get but I can't put it behind me and I can't push it aside anymore. I'm not just angry at them either, I'm angry at myself because I feel like I should've been more forceful in handling some situations. I really should've called the cops every time I was threatened. I should've left long ago and never looked back. I believe that they don't take me seriously and these are the only two things I can think of that had the slightest chance of changing that. Too late now though. My brother hasn't threatened my life in awhile and I'm hoping it will stay that way. Him starting up again really doesn't help me even if it does give me a reason to call the cops. Besides having to go through all that again while my parents sit and watch is just going to deepen the wound and most likely they will use my current unemployment to threaten to kick me out.

So, I guess the only thing to do is move out and get an unlisted address and phone number. They are never going to change their thinking and behavior are they? So, my only option is to get away. But I'll still be angry and I'll still be stuck. So, I'm going in circles.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Monday, February 18, 2013

Companies I'd Like To Support

One of my dreams is to travel to other countries and help exploited women become financially independent. Since accomplishing this dream is not in my near future, I thought I could bring some attention to people who are doing this. Here are some sites you should check out.

fashionABLE - Fashionable provides sustainable employment for Ethiopian women who have been exploited due to poverty.

Better Life Bags - Better Life Bags hires first generation immigrant women who have no other job opportunities. They rent a sewing machine and learn a skill that allows these women to provide for their families.

Open Arms - Open Arms employs former refugees living in the US paying them a proper living wage which is usually $3-$7 over minimum wage. They make scarves and skirts out of recycled t-shirts.

Noonday Collection - Noonday Collection sells jewelry and accessories created by artisans from multiple countries who receive a living wage for their work. They also allow consumers to showcase the products through trunk shows.

As I learn about more organizations such as these, I will continue adding them to this post.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Saturday, February 16, 2013

I Want...

I want some direction in my life.
I want to see beauty all around me.
I want passion and desire.
I want to be in love.
I want to reconnect with my femininity.
I want some sort of security.
I want to set down my own roots.
I want family of my own choosing.
I want success by my own definition.
I want to finally feel peace in my heart.
I want to find out who I'm really supposed to be.

Creative Commons License
I Want... by Porcelain Lotus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

1 Billion Rising

Please check out this website. 1 Billion Rising They are dedicated to bringing attention to and ending all forms of violence that is directed toward women all over the world.

If you read this blog then you know that I've been in abusive relationships and whole heartedly support organizations that are dedicated to drawing attention to violence against women and you should support such organizations as well. So please lend your support where you can. Violence and degradation against women is considered normal and that has got to stop immediately.

Monday, February 11, 2013

It's Over

I finally gave up on the blog template I was so proud of. Every time I fixed something I found something else that needed fixed. The last straw was when I tried to use the search. I was looking for a post I wrote awhile ago but I couldn't remember what I titled it. So I tried searching for it and suddenly I was on a page that had nothing to do with my blog and was in Portuguese! I had enough. I really loved how the template looked and I still want a notebook style template but this was just ridiculous. Sooo not worth it!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Quote: Confucius

“If one should desire to know whether a kingdom is well governed, if its morals are good or bad, the quality of its music will furnish the answer.” 


 The quality of most of the music in this country is terrible! Based on this quote our morals and government need some serious improvement.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Quote: Stephan Hoeller

"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl." 

-Stephan Hoeller