Sunday, September 29, 2013

Sonnet-- To Science by Edgar Allan Poe

Sonnet-- To Science by Edgar Allan Poe

Edgar Allan Poe is another poet that I am eager to read and learn about. I am also growing more and more fond of sonnets.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The Sunday Whirl- Wordle 127

Its that time of year again
The clues are plain to see
The three months of fall have come
The children have gone back to school
The colors of my world are changing
Into bursts of red and purple and orange
Time to peel apples for pie and cider
And pick the autumn vegetables for stew
Their warmth we will use to cradle us against the coming cold
Soon the leaves will begin to fall and be raked into a pile
Children will come knocking, brandishing fake claws and fangs
We will tell them scary stories to make them scream with fright
Animals seem to be quite rash, running to and fro
Birds will soon spread their wings and point their beaks south
The weather is beginning to change
The wind is picking up and the trees are shuttering
Houses moan in protest at the chill that's creeping in
It's as if the spirits of nature are getting restless
Peering around every corner
Fearing the exile that is soon to come
The trees will whisper their final secrets
Before they finally rest

This was inspired by The Sunday Whirl- Wordle 127 and of course, the current changing of the seasons. I am so happy to finally write again! It has been months since I've been able to write a free-verse poem. I hope this means that my creative self (I really should name her, since sometimes she seems to be a whole other person) is finally coming back out of hiding.

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Saturday, September 21, 2013

Six Word Saturday

desperately, in need of a job

My move is pretty much complete. I still have things back home but for the most part, I am settled. Now, I just need a job. I really want to get my life down here started but that won't happen until I have some freedom. Right now, I'm completely reliant on my aunt and uncle. I need job so that I can get a car and have money to go out and meet people and do things.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Quote: Booker T. Washington

Friends who are of good quality are what I want this time around. I've made some very bad decisions in my past about the people that I brought into my life and I am not going to keep doing that. The problem is, where does one find people who are of good quality? Church is a possibility although two of the worst people I've ever met went to church. Of course, there are worse out there too. I am currently going to my aunt and uncle's church but I haven't met anyone that I can see myself making real friends with. So, where else would one go to meet good people? I haven't figured it out yet.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Haunting Pain

My pain still feels fresh
Like a wound just inflicted
With blood dripping down my chest

It tortures me still
It haunts me like vengeful ghosts
Pain that chains me to my past

I wrote this because for two nights in a row I found myself crying myself to sleep over the past. I am sick of thinking about it and writing about it. I'm really sick of feeling it. I'm ready to heal. I know that can't possibly happen as long as I only write about it. I should be talking about it with a therapist or at least other members of my family. I can't bear to do it though. I tried talking to my aunt once about being emotionally abused by my parents but she didn't want to hear it. She shut me down real quick with a parenting is hard speech. Kind of ironic that someone who dealt with people who had been abused in her career doesn't want to hear about it in her own family. That's how it usually goes though. Its that "these things only happen to other people" mentality. Oh well, I'll get up the courage to try again and I won't let her shut me down again.

Quote: Robert Polito

"I need a life that isn’t just about needing to escape my life."

-Robert Polito

I think I might be getting closer and closer to a life that I don't need to escape from.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Time For Another Update

There hasn't been much to write about lately. I'm still trying to get settled. Its unbelievable how difficult they've made it to get all your paperwork taken care of, especially when you are in a situation like mine.

I had some issues with my last bank account so I closed it and didn't open a new one because I was unemployed and couldn't afford it. So, now that I've moved and sold my car, I have some money that needed to be put into an account. But of course, you have to prove residency to open an account. So I needed to get my change of address completed but in order to do that, I needed a debit card which of course I don't have. Need change of address to get a debit card and need debit card to get change of address. See the problem? Fortunately, since I was living with my parents they were able to do my change of address for me and since I am moving into my aunt and uncle's apartment they gave me a temporary rental agreement for further proof and was able to get a bank account.

Don't even get me started on getting my driver's license changed over. I need my Washington license, social security card, birth certificate, and 2 proofs of address. I didn't need that much when I was getting my license the first time! Utterly ridiculous! My mom says its their way of cracking down on illegal immigrants, which only makes the whole more irritating. I have a huge problem with the immigration laws. My aunt is from Mexico and when my uncle was trying to get her up here, she was referred to as some pretty disgusting names because the whole office was filled with racists. Granted, this was years ago, but it doesn't seem like much has changed. I think bigots are still the ones making these laws. Anyways, I digress. I finally have all those things I need so as soon as I can get a ride to the DMV I should be able to get my license and be good to go.

I don't have a job yet but I knew it would be difficult especially after my long stint of unemployment. I worked with the Career Resource Center here to improve my resume and get some job hunting help. My aunt is also this crazy good networker so she has been introducing me to some people. I have become accutely aware of my need to develop my own network, something that will be incredibly hard for me to do. Networking is not one of this very shy introvert's skills.

Something that has been frustrating for me is my lack of a comfort zone or "nest" as I find myself calling it. I have this picture in my head of birds building their nest and then feeling free to fly wherever because they can always come back to their nest. Well, since I am currently staying in a room decorated by my aunt that looks nothing like me, all of my stuff that I have collected over the years is still in Washington until I can afford to ship it, and even most of my clothes don't look like me since I've been going through a massive reclaiming of my identity, I am really feeling my lack of a nest. It has also affected my writing. I feel virtually no interest in journalling right now and am only do it because I know that I need it. Since writing is such a huge part of who I am, this lack of interest makes me feel like there's a huge hole in myself.

Ok, this post has gotten way too long but I do have one thing to add. I just started a poetry class on Coursera and I'm really excited about it. I've long wanted to study poetry but been unable to even start. I can't seem to understand any other poet but myself and the few other bloggers I read. I think that good artists study the work of others especially the greats, and that's what I want to be. Having people to work with who can help me learn how to read other forms of poetry will be so great for me. I'm only just starting to learn how to write outside of the school essay context, I'm sure learning to read outside of it too can be nothing but beneficial. Hopefully, I can keep up!

Monday, September 2, 2013