It's been quite sometime since I have written anything and even longer since I've written regularly. Writing has kind of failed me lately. I do not even have the energy for it and it is very disconcerting. This is part of the reason I feel like I'm flailing right now.
The year started out so well. I had big plans for my guiding word of the year, I had started dating a man that I really liked, I had finally gotten a full time job that I thought was going to be long term and I was hunting for an apartment. I got the apartment and my relationship is going so well that we moved in together. However, the job turned out to be a disaster. If I knew half of what I know now about the CEO and the advisors there, I never would have taken the job. I ended up being let go because I stood up for myself and gave the CEO realistic expectations about how long it takes to complete certain tasks. The troubles at work drained my energy and my guiding word fell by the wayside.
Now I am not sure what my next step should be. I keep attracting these kinds of jobs where I have a male boss with a weak ego who gets off on lording his position over women. I am not sure why I still attract that kind of energy. I know I need to figure that out and focus on what my career plan should be. I don't know where to start though.
Thursday, October 18, 2018
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
52 Lists Project- Week 11
Week 11 ~List Your Essentials~
| Love Loyalty Touch Compassion Health Writing Poetry Reading Photography Plants Pets Fantasy Music Self Expression A Pack/Tribe | A Big Comfy Bed Deep Conversations Starry Skies Beaches Purple Flowers Dancing Kissing Water Femininity Sensuality Laughing Solitude Comfort Freedom Intuition |
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
Guiding Word Of The Year For 2018
It only took one exercise from the Find Your Word course to figure out what my guiding word of the year needs to be. The first exercise was to imagine your ideal day. When I was thinking about it, I realized that most of what I imagined was ritualized and specifically geared towards my ideal life. Everything had a purpose. I understand that this is something that is missing from my life. Far too much of what I do is just to pass the time. I'm listless and kind of lost. I want my days to have more purpose.
My guiding word of the year is:
Mindful
I'm also doing something that I haven't done in previous years, and that's to choose some supporting words to help make this less of an abstract concept.
My first supporting word is Ritual. This is kind of an action word. One of my big goals is to create some rituals around different areas of my life to bring more meaning to things and to better care for myself. I need that. The most important rituals to create will be around my menstrual cycle. I've come to the conclusion that it is super important for women to get back to honoring our cycles, our life giving ability, instead of dreading them. A gratitude ritual will be important as well. I think I also need simple morning and nightly rituals.
My second supporting word is Sensuality. This is what I want to feel. Sensuality gets misconstrued for something sexual but it's actually about embracing and feeling all of your senses. I have struggled for years to get out of my head and back into my body. I want my mind to be less of a dominant force and more in harmony with my heart and body.
I wanted my last supporting word to be something I could learn to embody. Words like Queen, Empress, and Goddess are popular right now and were rolling around in my head but didn't feel right. So I went in search of lesser known feminine archetypes. I was directed to a website called Women Love Power and the 7 Basic Feminine Archetypes. Based on those descriptions, I believe that I am currently a "Mature Maiden" and it's time to move on to the next stage in my life. The archetype that goes along with what I'm trying to achieve this year and is my last supporting word is Mystic.
Finally, I'm starting out the year with an affirmation to get me started.
"My heart is filled with gratitude for all that I have and all that is yet to come."
My guiding word of the year is:
Mindful
I'm also doing something that I haven't done in previous years, and that's to choose some supporting words to help make this less of an abstract concept.
My first supporting word is Ritual. This is kind of an action word. One of my big goals is to create some rituals around different areas of my life to bring more meaning to things and to better care for myself. I need that. The most important rituals to create will be around my menstrual cycle. I've come to the conclusion that it is super important for women to get back to honoring our cycles, our life giving ability, instead of dreading them. A gratitude ritual will be important as well. I think I also need simple morning and nightly rituals.
My second supporting word is Sensuality. This is what I want to feel. Sensuality gets misconstrued for something sexual but it's actually about embracing and feeling all of your senses. I have struggled for years to get out of my head and back into my body. I want my mind to be less of a dominant force and more in harmony with my heart and body.
I wanted my last supporting word to be something I could learn to embody. Words like Queen, Empress, and Goddess are popular right now and were rolling around in my head but didn't feel right. So I went in search of lesser known feminine archetypes. I was directed to a website called Women Love Power and the 7 Basic Feminine Archetypes. Based on those descriptions, I believe that I am currently a "Mature Maiden" and it's time to move on to the next stage in my life. The archetype that goes along with what I'm trying to achieve this year and is my last supporting word is Mystic.
Finally, I'm starting out the year with an affirmation to get me started.
"My heart is filled with gratitude for all that I have and all that is yet to come."
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