Frankly, I doubt I'm going to look back on this time in my life and say they were the best days. This time in my life has been terrible. It is changing me though and turning me into the person that I think I was meant to be. So while I doubt I'll think these were my best days, I hope I look back on them and see them as something I wouldn't change. I hope they are the sand that turn me into a gem.

Quote: Master Jin Kwon

"Include a few moments of quiet time into your daily schedule; Breathe deeply, evaluate your thoughts, delete the negative ones, and reset your mind to a positive perspective by counting your blessings and overflowing opportunities."

-Master Jin Kwon

Trying To Bring Positive Energy Back Into My Life

I'm developing a list of things I think I should be doing to improve my spirit and bring more positive energy into my life.

1. I've already mentioned that I am going to start a creative outlet journal so I'm not so dependent on this blog. I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for but I think it's basically a sketch book. I want it to be a spiral notebook with blank sturdy pages.

2. Journal a lot more. There is nothing more theraputic for me than journalling. It forces me to face things that I might otherwise just put away and avoid. It also allows me to let those things go once they have been dealt with.

3. Start a prayer journal. I had a prayer journal, probably about 5 years ago. I remember how helpful it was. Prayer is a good thing. Developing a relationship with God is a good thing. I believe that bringing God into your life brings peace.

4. Start a gratitiude journal. When things aren't going well for me, I lose sight of all the good things in my life, which makes the situation even worse. Having a reminder of the things I treasure when I'm not capable of seeing them should help me remain in the positive.

5. Start a goals journal. It's one thing to say you want to achieve something. It's another to actually do it. In this journal I will figure out a goal and I will come up with the steps I will use to achieve it.

6. Create positive affirmations. I'm not sure where to start with this one. I'm not sure of what I need to be reminded of everyday or what I need to get myself to believe about myself. Once I figure it out, I think I'm going to post them on my walls or maybe on my computer screen so I make sure to read them everyday.

7. Last but not least, de-clutter and organize. I have more junk than I know what do with. It wasn't always like this. My spirit is much lighter when I am living in a clean and organized space. It has to be decorated though but I'll deal with that part once I get organized.

I'm working on #7 first. I don't think I'll even have the mindset to do the rest until I've simplified my living situation, at least a little bit. Plus I know that I have lots of notebooks around, hidden in all the clutter. If I can find them then I should have more than enough to start all these journals. I think I'll have to buy something for the creative journal but I shouldn't have to buy anything else this way.

How I've been feeling lately.

Scatter Brained

The past few weeks have been rough on my creative self. For awhile I had no internet access. Being able to sign on to this blog and attempt to write something has become a real source of comfort for me. Perhaps too much. I really need to become less attached to the computer and go back to notebooks as an additional outlet.

Since I didn't have another outlet, I found my spirit dropping. I was so scatter brained and couldn't get anything done. I decided to go out of town, thinking that a new environment would be helpful. It wasn't. Note to self, a new environment is not conducive to centering oneself. By the end of the trip I was actually more scatter brained than when it began. I know for a fact that it would've been worse had I not gone because of some things that were going on here. So I was still better off but since I didn't get what I was looking for I feel frustrated and still can't get anything done.

I'm starting to think that maybe my creative self can't grow until the rest of my reality is in better order. I had thought it was the other way around. I thought that growing my creativity would help me improve the rest of me. Now I'm not sure, maybe they are too intertwined and have to grow together.

So, I'm still on the hunt for a peaceful place that I can go to when I need centering. I hope that one day my home will be that place but lots of things have to change for that to happen. The place I'm living now, with the situations going on here, will probably never be a place of peace. I also am looking for a notebook that I can use as an additional outlet. I want to be able to write, post pictures in it, do collages, and keep track of ideas in it. I need an everything notebook.