Thursday, August 5, 2010

Scatter Brained

The past few weeks have been rough on my creative self. For awhile I had no internet access. Being able to sign on to this blog and attempt to write something has become a real source of comfort for me. Perhaps too much. I really need to become less attached to the computer and go back to notebooks as an additional outlet.

Since I didn't have another outlet, I found my spirit dropping. I was so scatter brained and couldn't get anything done. I decided to go out of town, thinking that a new environment would be helpful. It wasn't. Note to self, a new environment is not conducive to centering oneself. By the end of the trip I was actually more scatter brained than when it began. I know for a fact that it would've been worse had I not gone because of some things that were going on here. So I was still better off but since I didn't get what I was looking for I feel frustrated and still can't get anything done.

I'm starting to think that maybe my creative self can't grow until the rest of my reality is in better order. I had thought it was the other way around. I thought that growing my creativity would help me improve the rest of me. Now I'm not sure, maybe they are too intertwined and have to grow together.

So, I'm still on the hunt for a peaceful place that I can go to when I need centering. I hope that one day my home will be that place but lots of things have to change for that to happen. The place I'm living now, with the situations going on here, will probably never be a place of peace. I also am looking for a notebook that I can use as an additional outlet. I want to be able to write, post pictures in it, do collages, and keep track of ideas in it. I need an everything notebook.

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