My Oracle Card Reading

I was thinking about my last post. I have recently been intrigued by oracle cards. I don't believe they have divination powers or anything like that. I view them the same way I view journal prompts. They are a way to look at something in a new way or bring subconscious thoughts to the forefront. So I thought I would try pulling some cards to see what shakes loose.

I won't go into details about oracle cards themselves but I pulled a spread of 4 cards. One to get to the heart of the issue, one for how to heal, one for the special guidance that I already know deep down, and one for guidance for the future. Once again, these cards are similar to journal prompts so the results could be viewed as very generic but they did get me thinking.

Heart of the Issue: I am still tethered to past hurts and lessons. I have not cut cords and completely unlearned lessons so I have been unable to move forward. I will keep repeating the same cycle until I have completely released the past.

This definitely true. I have been mistreated at every job that I have had and I always struggle to release it. I still find myself getting very angry about what happened at my last job. I also struggle with letting go of the things that I have been taught about careers and the proper steps. I come from a conservative, religious, right-wing family and have had everything that comes with that drilled into my head. The steps for being successful ( go to college, get a job, move up the ladder) have worked for everyone in my family, except for me. I am the example that it doesn't work for everyone but instead of acknowledging that, I am constantly being told that something is wrong with me. I have to get out of the corporate cookie-cutter mindset and take the leap to something else, even though I have no support.

How to Heal: I need to surrender to the changes going on within me and around me, while remaining strong in my convictions about what I should be striving for despite what people are telling me.

Releasing everything I have been taught and moving forward is really my only option.  I know that the standard 9-5 job will never work for me and no amount of criticism, lectures, and advice will ever change that. My mind is slowly wrapping around that but I am a bit frantic as I try to figure out another path. I need to tone that frantic energy down by surrendering to the process.

Special Guidance: Do not judge myself or my situation. Trust my discernment and focus on using it to make my future choices. Trust my vision.

Most of the time I just feel like a fool for being in this situation. I've been trapped in this cycle for so long and I feel foolish for not being able to get out. I know that judging myself this way does not help but I'm still doing it. I need to find a way to take that energy and put it into connecting with my intuition and developing discernment.

Guidance for the Future: Keep pushing forward. Choose to rise instead of being taken over by depression. Have compassion for yourself as you have had a very hard road. Remember that you have been given power to co-create your reality.

This one annoyed me. If I knew how to rise instead of being taken over by depression, I wouldn't be in this mess. My depression has always been situational. It rears its ugly head whenever some part of my life is in shambles, especially when it's something that I have worked very hard on. So all of the standard advice about how to get rid of it never works for me. Daily nature walks can never change the fact that something I poured my heart into blew up in my face. I have yet to find a way to keep that kind of depression at bay. I do find it very hard to truly have compassion for myself so that could be the main issue.

Whatever one thinks about things like oracle cards, doing this did help me calm my mind and begin to organize my thoughts. I feel a bit more grounded and I have a bit more energy to keep moving forward.