Career Path Conundrum

For the first time in a long time, I feel the urge to write. I've been frustrated with my lack of desire to write. I could not figure out why something that had helped me so much was no longer drawing me. I think I finally figured it out. I journal to heal, to work through jumbled thoughts, to bring things I have suppressed to the surface. It's so valuable and so necessary but so exhausting. I think I was exhausted and needed time to go with the flow. Everyone needs a break sometimes and with all of the struggles I have had in the real world, I just could not keep taking those on as long as I was putting so much energy into healing. I think Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs explains it best. Food, shelter and safety has to come first. When those things are a struggle you just will not be able to focus on anything else.

For the time being I have those things taken care of and am now able to look beyond that again. However, my focus has to be on my career. It has been as you can see from my last few posts. Hating my job is so destructive. Dreading each day, being bored, not growing, and sleeping away the weekends due to exhaustion is not how we are supposed to live. I'm struggling though. I see two potential career paths but both will require a lot of time and energy. I find myself frozen at a fork in the road.

One career path is as a Business Process Consultant primarily for small business and coaches. It will fulfill my need to solve problems, stretch my creativity, and build something on a business level. My time as temp helped me discover this skill and it turned into a desire but I know I started thinking about this because I have not journaled in so long and no longer felt qualified to pursue becoming a journaling coach. I know that things happen for a reason and the path twists and turns. That time away from journaling could have been what I needed to explore other areas of my life and develop other skills. This new career path could just be a way for me to avoid the work required for my other potential career path. I am not sure.

My other career path is as a Wellness Coach. I've wanted to become a journaling coach for awhile but I moved away from it when I stopped journaling.  I never let go of it though and have thought about expanding the idea to include herbalism. This career path excites me more if I am honest but it is still so ambiguous for me. No path is truly clear but this feels more like a mirage than a path.

This is a very odd conundrum for me because in the past when I was struggling to make a decision, I knew I was leaning towards one. This time, I don't feel like I'm leaning either way. It's a brand new type of struggle for me.