I really hate to talk about this but maybe its time. What's the point of having an anonymous blog if I can't get everything off my chest? I have been abused in many ways over the years and been in more than one abusive relationship. Mostly its been emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is so incredibly damaging, worse that physical or sexual abuse. It took me quite awhile but I feel like I've been able to regain quite a lot of what was taken from me. I still have quite a long way to go but I'm getting there. I'm regaining my sense of self and my self worth. I've learned how to trust my instincts again. I've also learned how to identify red flags in people and how to get them out of my life before they harm me. All in all, I'd say quite a bit of progress!
I didn't start making progress until I was able to say out loud what was done to me. Living in denial never works. You have to face your demons. I've been able to address the emotional, mental, verbal, and spiritual abuse. I can talk to some people about it. However, I've only been able to partially talk about the sexual abuse. Now don't worry, I'm not going to go into details on this blog. You don't need to talk to everyone about such things.
So now I'm ready to address it all. Somehow, I have to get all the pieces of me back together, including my sexuality. I was looking for blogs about sex and relationships. I thought maybe hearing from people in healthy relationships would help me see sex differently. Help me see it as the beautiful expression of intimacy that it should be. Or that I want it to be. However, I mostly found blogs written by therapists. So far I can only find two that are written by regular people. One hardly ever blogs anymore and one is written by a man who sometimes comes off like he's still in high school. Neither is helpful. All the other blogs I've found are about BDSM and TTWD relationships. Not helpful either, although I do wonder what they would say about my situation and how many of them were in my position at one point. Don't "vanilla" people need to talk about their relationships too?
I'll keep looking though. I'm completely convinced that an example of a typical but healthy relationship will help me a lot.
Don't worry, there are other things I'm doing to overcome all of this. I just don't feel the need to write about it here. So, anyone know of any great sex and relationships blogs?