My parents have decided to move! They plan to be gone by the beginning of September. Which means that I only have until then to decide where I want to move and how I'm going to do it. I am scared to death. I went to Vegas in April and I'm going to Atlanta in June, then I have to decide which city I want to move to and really, I'm not sure that either one will provide me with more options to pursue journal therapy. It almost seems like what I'm trying to do is unprecedented, so I am having trouble figuring out how to do it. My guess is that I should get a teaching degree and take a journal therapy certification program. The problem with that is I can only find one and it only teaches one journalling technique. I thought I was looking for an expressive therapy degree, which maybe I still should, but that focuses on a bunch of stuff I'm not interested in and hardly focuses on journal therapy. So, now what?
Plus, I'm still don't know what kind of job I should try and get in order to get me moving in the right direction. I could probably volunteer at some sort of literacy program or therapy center. But, then I still need a job that shows I'm working in a certain direction. Right now my job experience is all over the place and one of the reasons I've been unemployed for so long. I've been trying to rework my resume to show common threads, what precious little there are. You'd think a writer could be more creative! I don't see how I can gear it towards teaching journal therapy.
Basically, I'm getting nowhere and I'm running out of time. September will be here before I know it.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Quote: Rhett Butler (Gone With the Wind)
"No, I don’t think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."
-Rhett Butler (Gone With the Wind)
That's what's wrong with me. I need to be kissed. I miss kissing. Deciding not to date until I get my life back on track really sucks sometimes.
-Rhett Butler (Gone With the Wind)
That's what's wrong with me. I need to be kissed. I miss kissing. Deciding not to date until I get my life back on track really sucks sometimes.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Quote: Lois Lowry, Gathering Blue
“Take pride in your pain; you are stronger than those who have none”
-Lois Lowry, Gathering Blue
I'm not so sure that's true in my case. I certainly don't feel stronger.
-Lois Lowry, Gathering Blue
I'm not so sure that's true in my case. I certainly don't feel stronger.
Don't Ask Iyanla To Fix Your Marriage
I've been watching the show "Iyanla: Fix My Life" a little bit lately. In some ways, it is a really great show. It addresses very real things and doesn't shy away from difficult subjects. I think some of Iyanla's techniques are quite interesting and worth looking into. I'm sure quite a few people are helped. I have a serious issue with the way marriages are treated on this show though.
The thing that really bothers me about this show is that there seems to be a whole lot of blaming the woman for the man's actions while coddling the man. Granted, I've only seen three episodes where marriages are addressed but it happened in all three episodes. I'm not saying that the women are never wrong but no woman is responsible for a man's actions. Iyanla refers to men as leaders and kings but then tells the women that these "leaders" are not responsible for their own actions. What sense does that make? True leaders take responsibility for their actions and often for the actions of the people they are supposed to be leading.
One episode was about Sheree and Bob Whitfield. I won't get into all the details of their relationship because it would take forever and they're celebrities. You can just look it up if you are that interested. But Iyanla told Sheree multiple times that it was her fault that Bob didn't pay child support and wasn't there for their children. She literally said it was her fault. She also said, "A man can't get in the space where there is feminine rage and bitterness because he doesn't know how to navigate it." So what?! That probably has a lot to do with her part in why their relationship failed but what does that have to do with Bob's responsibility. Not to mention that is was his actions that created that rage and bitterness in the first place. Iyanla basically gave Bob a pass on his behavior with that statement, saying that Sheree prevented him from doing his job. I am in no way saying that Sheree isn't wrong. She has a terrible attitude and is incredibly selfish and manipulative. I mean, it was obvious that she only went on the show in hopes that Iyanla would take her side and go after Bob instead of addressing her problems as well. I'm also pretty sure that she was only interested in Bob's money to begin with. But that has nothing to do with Bob's actions. He should have paid child support and he should have been a father to his children. Real men and real fathers push to take care of their children and to spend time with them, no matter how much conflict, anger, hate, or whatever else they have to deal with from the mother. Maybe they don't succeed in the endeavor but they try. Their children are that important to them and clearly Bob didn't think that his children were worth the effort.
Now before anyone who saw the show gets on my case, I am not in their relationship and only know what I've seen on television. I know I don't know all the details. This post isn't so much about their relationship as it is about the message the show was sending out. Also, it did seem like he saw the error of his ways and was going to work to be a better father in the future. That should be acknowledged and commended but it doesn't negate his past actions. Changing your ways doesn't automatically fix the damage you already caused. The scars are already there and scars don't go away.
Like I said earlier, this isn't the only episode where it seemed like the men were getting coddled and the women were getting blamed. One episode, Iyanla blamed the woman for her husband's affair! I couldn't believe it. This has to stop! Women are responsible for our own actions, and our own actions only. When we are wrong we need to admit it, apologize, and change. We are not responsible for any man's actions.
Really, men should be offended as well. Making someone responsible for their own actions is a sign that you think that person is highly capable and worthy of high expectations. It seems that Iyanla doesn't think men are capable of much.
The thing that really bothers me about this show is that there seems to be a whole lot of blaming the woman for the man's actions while coddling the man. Granted, I've only seen three episodes where marriages are addressed but it happened in all three episodes. I'm not saying that the women are never wrong but no woman is responsible for a man's actions. Iyanla refers to men as leaders and kings but then tells the women that these "leaders" are not responsible for their own actions. What sense does that make? True leaders take responsibility for their actions and often for the actions of the people they are supposed to be leading.
One episode was about Sheree and Bob Whitfield. I won't get into all the details of their relationship because it would take forever and they're celebrities. You can just look it up if you are that interested. But Iyanla told Sheree multiple times that it was her fault that Bob didn't pay child support and wasn't there for their children. She literally said it was her fault. She also said, "A man can't get in the space where there is feminine rage and bitterness because he doesn't know how to navigate it." So what?! That probably has a lot to do with her part in why their relationship failed but what does that have to do with Bob's responsibility. Not to mention that is was his actions that created that rage and bitterness in the first place. Iyanla basically gave Bob a pass on his behavior with that statement, saying that Sheree prevented him from doing his job. I am in no way saying that Sheree isn't wrong. She has a terrible attitude and is incredibly selfish and manipulative. I mean, it was obvious that she only went on the show in hopes that Iyanla would take her side and go after Bob instead of addressing her problems as well. I'm also pretty sure that she was only interested in Bob's money to begin with. But that has nothing to do with Bob's actions. He should have paid child support and he should have been a father to his children. Real men and real fathers push to take care of their children and to spend time with them, no matter how much conflict, anger, hate, or whatever else they have to deal with from the mother. Maybe they don't succeed in the endeavor but they try. Their children are that important to them and clearly Bob didn't think that his children were worth the effort.
Now before anyone who saw the show gets on my case, I am not in their relationship and only know what I've seen on television. I know I don't know all the details. This post isn't so much about their relationship as it is about the message the show was sending out. Also, it did seem like he saw the error of his ways and was going to work to be a better father in the future. That should be acknowledged and commended but it doesn't negate his past actions. Changing your ways doesn't automatically fix the damage you already caused. The scars are already there and scars don't go away.
Like I said earlier, this isn't the only episode where it seemed like the men were getting coddled and the women were getting blamed. One episode, Iyanla blamed the woman for her husband's affair! I couldn't believe it. This has to stop! Women are responsible for our own actions, and our own actions only. When we are wrong we need to admit it, apologize, and change. We are not responsible for any man's actions.
Really, men should be offended as well. Making someone responsible for their own actions is a sign that you think that person is highly capable and worthy of high expectations. It seems that Iyanla doesn't think men are capable of much.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Haiku
Anger overwhelms me
Confusion fills my mind
Loss of all my dreams
Hmm, this one isn't good. I probably shouldn't be trying unfamiliar forms of poetry right now if I want to write something good. But, this is about learning and growing so its better to try.
Haiku by Porcelain Lotus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Confusion fills my mind
Loss of all my dreams
Hmm, this one isn't good. I probably shouldn't be trying unfamiliar forms of poetry right now if I want to write something good. But, this is about learning and growing so its better to try.
Haiku by Porcelain Lotus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Quote: Diane Koepke
"You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn’t matter whether someone is a relative, employer, romantic interest, friend or new acquaintance. You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go."
-Diane Koepke
If the time comes that I need to finally get some people out of my life, I hope that I remember this.
-Diane Koepke
If the time comes that I need to finally get some people out of my life, I hope that I remember this.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Lessons and Blessings
"We met for a reason – you are either a blessing or a lesson"
-Frank Ocean
They say that every lesson is a blessing. I'm not sure if that's true. There are some lessons that people shouldn't have to learn. I never should've had to learn what abuse looks like. I never should've had to learn what sexual assault looks like. No one should. So, is it a blessing that I learned those lessons? If it keeps me from facing something worse, then I suppose so. If I can manage to use my experiences to help someone else, then yes. But I'm not sure that the lesson is the blessing. I think having the wherewithal to use that lesson for something good. That is the blessing.
-Frank Ocean
They say that every lesson is a blessing. I'm not sure if that's true. There are some lessons that people shouldn't have to learn. I never should've had to learn what abuse looks like. I never should've had to learn what sexual assault looks like. No one should. So, is it a blessing that I learned those lessons? If it keeps me from facing something worse, then I suppose so. If I can manage to use my experiences to help someone else, then yes. But I'm not sure that the lesson is the blessing. I think having the wherewithal to use that lesson for something good. That is the blessing.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Quote: Amy Plum
"I was an escapist at heart. I preferred imaginary worlds to the real one."
-Amy Plum
I have this problem too. I definitely have a problem facing the world I'm in right now. Its easier and more satisfying to just escape into my own imagination. I don't recommend it though. I know its one of the reasons that my progress is moving so slowly.
-Amy Plum
I have this problem too. I definitely have a problem facing the world I'm in right now. Its easier and more satisfying to just escape into my own imagination. I don't recommend it though. I know its one of the reasons that my progress is moving so slowly.
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Reactivating Word Verification
Oh my goodness! My inbox has been flooded with spam comments for the past week or so! Its so incredibly annoying. I know some of you had complained about the word verification so I had disabled it. I'm putting it back on temporarily to see if it helps put an end to this because I can't take it anymore. I don't know how else to stop the madness! Hopefully those of you who want to leave real comments won't be deterred by this situation which I hope won't last for long.
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