"When we descend all the way down to the bottom of a loss, and dwell patiently, with an open heart, in the darkness and pain, we can bring back up with us the sweetness of life and the exhilaration of inner growth. When there is nothing left to lose, we find the true self--the self that is whole, the self that is enough, the self that no longer looks to others for definition, or completion, or anything but companionship on the journey."
This is what I've been noticing about myself. If you read this blog then you know that I've been going through quite a long period of confusion, self-doubt, and lack of direction. People expected me to come out of it quickly and don't understand what my problem is. In the past, I would've pushed bad feelings aside, buried them and moved on. I've realized that I wasn't really moving on. I was just storing this stuff and that I have no more room to store anything. This made it impossible to move forward. I have had to spend quite some time digging up and dealing with years bad feelings resulting from abuse and neglect.
I am in no way done with this process but I have seen something in myself that I haven't seen since I was a child. My true self, just like the quote says. The self that had to be hidden and protected because it was too fragile to deal with what my life had turned into. I had pretty much forgotten about her but now reclaiming me is what is most important.