I am becoming so discouraged. I really thought that moving was my chance at a new start and so far it has been just more of the same. I haven't been able to find a job, even though I've applied to plenty of places. So now, my aunt and uncle are talking about having someone else rent their basement apartment that I came down here for. I'm sitting here watching even my small dreams disappear and there's nothing I can do about it. What do you do when you can't get a job? Why am I someone who always has to settle and take whatever she can get? Why is it that every time I think I'm finally going to get back on my feet, something comes along and rips the rug out from under me? Its been almost 10 years since the last time I was standing on my feet and doing well.
There are things that other people have done to me that majorly contributed to my being at this place. But, obviously there is something wrong with me too. Apparently, all these years of self reflection and trying to identify and address my problems hasn't been enough. There's still something or many things holding me back.