Friday, October 25, 2013

I'll Follow You

I'll follow you as you lead the way
Your loyal partner I will stay
By your side I will stand
As you take me by the hand
Each and every passing day

If my worries you allay
And you chase my fears away
Show the strength that I demand
I'll follow you

Through all our sadness and dismay
Every night, together we'll lay
Through all our journey as yet unplanned
I know together we can withstand
Come what may
I'll follow you

Thanks to d'Verse Poets Pub I now know another poetry form called Rondeau. Check out the link for details. Tony Maude did a much better job of explaining it than I could. I am very intrigued by the form. This is my first attempt at the poetic form. I didn't bother with iambic tetrameter because I never quite grasped the concept of meters. They always trip me up. I'm not sure how I feel about the poem in the end. It has kind of an adult theme but I think my attempt comes across a bit juvenile. I haven't done much rhyming in my poetic journey, surprisingly, so this turned out to be quite a challenge. I'll have to keep trying.

Creative Commons License
I'll Follow You by Porcelain Lotus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://dversepoets.com/2013/10/24/form-for-all-the-rondeau/.

14 comments:

  1. smiles...a beautiful bit of commitment there...each giving what they have to another...one to lead another the submission to be led....i am not one for meter as well more than letting the words find their own rhythm...

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    1. Thank you! I'm glad the story I was trying to tell comes across.

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  2. Lovely words of loyalty trust and love.
    Anna :o]

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  3. Written as an oath of love.. I very nice rondeau

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  4. This is a great debut rondeau for you! Well done. I like the theme and the way you put it all together.

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    1. Thank you! The refrain popped into my head immediately so I was able to have a clear direction to go.

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  5. This is beautiful; gentle, hopeful and romantic. This is what a traditional rondeau was about - love and romance ... smiles.

    Your rhyme scheme is perfect, and most of your rhymes feel natural. What I mean there is that you've not had to use strange word orders to get your rhyme words in the right places.

    As for meter - that gets easier with practice, plus there's always room for an extra syllable in a line ... smiles.

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    1. Thank you so much! I try to keep my lines as simple as possible. I feel like if it gets to difficult to read then the message gets lost.

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  6. It's a lovely poem... the flow, and theme on love and devotion is touching,

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    1. Thank you Kitten. Always nice when you stop by.

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I would love to know what you think. Constructive criticism is more than welcome.