Thursday, January 2, 2014

My Plan For Growth

Since my guiding word of the year is growth, I decided that I need to come up with a plan to get going in that direction. Of course, I don't know where this is all going to take me but I have a few things I'm doing to start the next part of my journey.

First, I'm trying to get in contact with people involved in the journal therapy certification programs to get some advice on how to gain the necessary experience and background knowledge I need to get into the program. I'm not sure what would count as qualified experience. Hopefully, I will hear back from them and will then begin working on implementing their suggestions. If I don't hear back from them, I will just have to stick with reading books for the background knowledge and looking for volunteer opportunities for the experience. I'll be doing that anyways. In order to get into the program I have to finish my degree as well. I am looking for a job that is stable enough to help me pay for school.

Of course, reclaiming my femininity is still a huge priority for me. It is about taking the way I am changing and feeling on the inside and expressing it on the outside. As long as I continue seeing the same person, who was so lost and confused, in the mirror everyday I will always be stuck. So, I am making regular exercise and daily stretching part of my routine. Having a body that is strong, limber and flexible is part of my definition of feminine. I firmly believe that it is the years of anger, tension, and bitterness that have made my body so stiff and weak. That stuff gets into your bones and hardens every part of you. Since I am slowly releasing it from my heart, I need to release it from my body as well.

Another part of reclaiming my femininity is improving my posture. I mentioned in a comment on my I Want My Femininity Back post, that I realized that my posture showed my past desire to be invisible. Since I no longer feel that way, my posture needs to change. It's not an easy thing to change though. The muscles are ridiculously tight and have already been trained a certain way. The stretching that I am doing is loosening up those incredibly tight muscles and posture exercises are retraining those muscles, hopefully. I want to be careful with this though. I used to know a girl whose posture was so good that she seemed robotic. I do not want that. I want to stand with ease and confidence. I want to walk tall and gracefully. I don't want to sit so straight that it seems unnatural.

In the same comment I just mentioned, I say that my current wardrobe shows my past desire to be invisible as well. It also shows my lack of self-esteem and lack of desire to put any effort into myself. My beauty routine is the same way. So, every month as long as I'm getting a paycheck, I'm going to buy one or two new clothing items to start overhauling my wardrobe. I am going to develop morning and nighttime rituals to better care for my skin, hair, and teeth. My look needs to show that I do care about myself and be an expression of who I really am.

I also intend to start reading more. I used to read everything in sight when I was a child, four and five books at a time. I lost the love for it during high school. Being forced to read books at ridiculous speeds while still trying to have enough time for the rest of my classes, made reading stressful and exasperating. I never really regained my love for reading again. Now is the time. Few things can teach you more than reading. Hopefully, it will improve my writing as well.

I think I should make a vision board. I've never done that before but I've heard so many good things about it. Having my goals right in front of me where I can see them instead of just thinking about them might be helpful.

So, that it my starter plan. I'm sure things will be added and changed as the year goes on but I think I'm headed in the right direction.

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