surprised at how far I've come
I was going through my first attempt at journalling from back in 2007. I was actually really shocked at what I saw. All the bad decisions I was making at the time, the way I thought back then, how little I thought of myself, it was pretty surprising. It was also a relief. Sometimes, I look back and wonder how I could've stayed in bad situations so long and how I could've been so blind. Now, I remember, I wasn't blind. I could see how bad things were and that I was making bad decisions and that I was making these decisions because I thought so little of myself. I just hadn't yet figured out how to navigate my lack of self-worth. It was the perfect reminder that I need to give myself more credit and that even though I'm struggling trying to get settled here, I have really come a long way from who I was.