Sunday, June 2, 2013

Stone

The stone in your hands cracks
Crumbling like sand
Revealing my still beating heart

This was inspired by Haiku Heights prompt of Stone. But I broke the rules by using too many syllables so I can't post it there. I can't seem to get it down to 17 syllables.

Creative Commons License
Stone by Porcelain Lotus is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://parmisrad.wordpress.com/2013/06/01/haiku-heights-prompt-stone/.

2 comments:

  1. If I may suggest, you take out the unnecessary conjunctions, like

    stone in your hands cracks -
    Crumbling like sand -
    Revealing my still beating heart

    Have a good day ~

    ReplyDelete

I would love to know what you think. Constructive criticism is more than welcome.